FebFast Finale
Remember that recruit in ‘An officer and a gentleman’ who endured 11 out of 12 brutal weeks of boot camp then dropped out, thereby forfeiting his career and the girl of his dreams? What can be said about a person like that? And what can be said about a pair of FebFasters who endure almost 4 weeks of lemon, lime and bitters only to fall off the wagon on Feb 27?
Here’s how it happened. Entering commitments into my diary I realised with horror that the Big Day, March 1 coincided with my first online tutorial in Open University this year. I take this at 8pm, after dinner. They’re final year students and many are hotshots. I need to have my wits about me so a tipple is out of the question.
March 2 is banjo night for Right Foot and swimming for me. That’s no time to break our fast – we have to do it together. On March 3 I have my second year students and their online tute. That brings us to Friday March 4, practically an extra week of deprivation. Unthinkable.
So last night we settled in with David Attenborough, tarragon chicken and a glass of de Bortoli’s Best Box. Right Foot was asleep within minutes. I struggled on to the end of Miss Marple. Clearly, I’m a long way off match fitness but, unlike the poor devil in the movie, have not lost my job or my squeeze and the charity will still get its money.
The following is an assessment of the advantages and disadvantages of sobriety
Pros
Weight loss
Evenings are longer and much more productive
Sounder sleep at night and freedom from the mid-afternoon slump next day
Cons
I have become boring, smug and sanctimonious
I have lost the will to live
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