Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Eighty percent of a granddaughter
Grumpy Girl emails: “Just came back from the 19 week ultrasound. Baby's heartbeat a very impressive 158 beats per minute, four chambers in heart, two hemispheres in brain, thigh bones slightly longer than expected for this age and an 80% possibility that it's a girl!”

Grumpy is going to show us the video, a twenty-minute art-house classic in the making, featuring the inside of the baby's brain, with a supporting cast which includes its spine and a brief cameo performance by the kidneys. Pass the popcorn!

Nobs versus Hoi Polloi
On Saturday I gathered up my Hawthorn and Collingwood supporting colleagues and took them to the Members Reserve at the ‘G’. It was the first time I had ever been to the footy in a mixed marriage situation. I sat between two maggies, L and R who enthusiastically applauded each Collingwood goal and smirked gleefully across me as they got further and further in front.

When I used to watch footy with my sister on a regular basis we tried to steer the ball through the goals by stiffening our bodies and bending in unison in a sort of ritualistic dance. On Saturday I was dancing with R but we weren’t swaying harmoniously, willing the same result. Instead we moved in opposite directions, one of us horribly out of step, and in danger of clashing our heads together. Bizarre.

All I managed to win was an argument about the meaning of ‘hoi polloi’. The consolation prize but no consolation at all.